So, I was thinking recently that I wouldn’t feel like such an outsider if I actually had some friends in town. As it is now, I find myself driving out of town to meet friends from work or places we’ve previously lived. This touches on two key issues. One is the fact that there is very little to actually do in Morris…. a subject for a future post.
The second and most pressing at this time is that there seems to be no way to break into the social scene in Morris. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be in the “in crowd”. I know and accept my limitations, at least as they pertain to my Morris Social Status Rating (aka. MSSR). However, it would be really nice to have friends in the neighborhood to get together with for summertime BBQs, a game of cards or dinner and drinks.
I’ve tried to make friends….chit chat at a ballgame, idle talk with a parent at a school event, etc. These end in two general catastrophes. 1) I realize I’ve unknowingly tried to talk with someone clearly out of my MSSR and find myself the subject of odd stares and behind-the-hand whispers by those in the know -- or 2) The object of my attempt at friendship, them self, has previously fallen to the spoils of catastrophe #1 and they’re too gun shy to continue the conversation, fearful that they may also be speaking to someone out of their MSSR.
I’m a college educated professional and haven’t had any trouble making friends up to this point, so I don’t believe I’m a social pariah. This dilemma really perplexes me. Maybe there should be a secret code word for those of us looking for local friends…something that identifies us as being open to accepting new people into our social circle. (Social circle of one, in my case, but open to expansion nonetheless.) I have to find an answer to the dilemma or I may find myself suddenly attending PTA meetings in yet another misguided attempt at making friends.
21 comments:
Great blog, Social, and much needed. I too, had tried to break into the MSSR, but after awhile realized that I was better off staying away. I've come to the conclusion that there's something bad in the environment here that affects peoples' psyche. (the nuke plants perhaps?) It gets worse the farther back their generational ties go. There is something not right in the head with many of these people, but you can't tell THEM that. Morris is all they know and all they ever will know. It's passed down through the generations. Your best bet is to congregate with other outsiders who also are aware. The first question I ask anyone here is, "did you grow up here?"
If the answer is yes, I run like hell.
Don't you know most PTAs are the kiss of death in any town across America. They are normally filled with the wonderful "my kids can do no wrong" parents who are way above everyone else.
I grew up in Morris and while I don't reside in Morris currently, I do go there frequently.
I'm sorry that Morrisites are still treating "outsiders" that way. They did so in school when a new girl/guy moved to town. Noone could talk to her/him until the "misfit" clique befriended them then the race was on to see who could befriend them for good. It was truly a game of Finder's Keepers that was repulsive.
The town has always seperated itself so isn't just a matter of insider/outsider.
There were townies, and farmers. There were the typical cliques at school: Jocks/Cheerleaders, Brains, Burnouts, Band/Choir, and FFA/Homemakers kids.
When one is brought up knowing only that, its hard to change. And seriously when one is brought up to think HS football is the beall endall that this town put on it it's hard to face reality when you finally figure out that just because you were a HS football star you really are now, just Al Bundy.
If you have children I would suggest looking into the Grundy County Extension Office and 4H the people surrounding there seem to be some of the nicest most down to earth people the county has to offer. Your kids will benefit also.
I like making friends at the local coffee shops.
WOW! I guess I never realized this. When I first came to town they told me that the world revolved around the intesection of Liberty and Jefferson Streets, more specifically Ebbey Georges. I guess I was misled. So you mean there is actually a world still afloat outside the city limits?
I'm curious.
I happened across this blog - sort of by accident.
Do you really want friends - or to just complain about this town?
I would think if you wanted friends - you wouldn't be so anonymous. I was born and raised here - have lived other places as an adult - but moved back here - to raise my children. I understand free speech and your wanting to "vent" - but I think there are more constructive ways to try to find friends.... Best of luck to you.
So, when do we hear about the fact you were not "invited" to the WeCare Oscar party at Chapins last night? I'm sure you feel socially robbed at the slight...
...snorting with laughter... Well, guess we can tell the last two posters are "homies".
Otherwise, yes, you are correct, Social Mo. There is a huge psychological division between the "homies" and the "newbies" here in Morris.
And, you're not really an insider if you were born and raised here -- your PARENTS have to have been born and raised here, too.
Also, don't forget how the townies, who have more debt than sense in most cases, look down on the farmers, who are often college educated land millionaires with incomes dependent only on themselves and their personal drive.
Look, you want buds here in town. I've been here over 10 years. Don't bother TRYING to make friends with the "homies", it's not worth your time. Let them come to you or ignore them. Trust me when I tell you there's seldom anything there worth exerting yourself for. Make buds with other newbies instead.
What the homies don't realize is that, slowly but surely, they are being outnumbered by the newbies, and businesses and organizations are going to be run more and more by newbies, and they're going to have to learn to open their minds a little or they'll remain in their psychologically incestuous, ever-diminishing little fantasy world forever.
I don't miss them.
apparently, a nerve has be touched here.
Good grief.
Wine and Beer tasting event this weekend....any reports? Also the chocolate fondue fest for the charity that changes colors as the money rolls in....any reports?
I have been working on my MSSR and am considering a big purchase, seems that my rating could be higher if I incurred some more debt with one of those fancy new import cars. Does anyone have any experience with this, any recommendations? I found that my wife carrying one of those knock-off purses from a house party actually made my MSSR drop once we were revealed. I guess the Cubiic Zirconias don't help either.
In an effort to improve my own MSSR I have started working out and going to the tanning salon. If for no other reason than the people to think I have just returned from vacation like the rest of the upper crust.
Sure has been quiet.
I hear that the Red Cent owner is trying to get some big name (has-been)entertainment for outside over the summer.
do ya think he will have neough money, was in there on a saturday night and got lonely.
Fools is closed. So is that Townhouse Chicken place. Supposedly the smoking ban effected business. I heard Bogies is still allowing smoking. My buddy was in there Sunday night and it was packed with drunk smokers. woohoo
FREEDOM OF CHOICE....that is what our country is about. Soldiers are dying over seas allowing US this choice. Unfortunately this choice was taken away from us by big brother goverment. If you don't like the smoke the answer is simple...DONT GO IN THERE.
Not surprising that Fool's is closed after the divorce. I knew it was just a matter of time before she drove that business into the ground.
Why are the windows and door at 312 covered with paper? I didn't get out of the car to read the note. Anybody know?
Its turning into a bar...what else. One more choice for all the drunks in this town.
If you don't like it, you are free to leave.
Abbey George thinks there should be brass poles in all the bars.
Aww this is sad. Poor little babes not fitting in and sulking about it to the internet. "Internet--will you be my friend???"
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